Tol'dot

Helicopter Parents and the Jewish Future

Genesis 25:19−28:9

By Charles A. Kroloff, Reprinted from ReformJudaism.org

The Book of Genesis is full of unethical behavior or, at the least, highly questionable actions by our matriarchs and patriarchs. Abraham let Sarah be physically available to Pharaoh, indicating that she was his sister. He then proceeded to come within a knife's breath of sacrificing his son Isaac at Mount Moriah. Sarah dispatched Hagar and Ishmael from the security of her tent into the unforgiving wilderness. Isaac dissembled before Abimelech, obfuscating his relationship to Rebekah. Jacob and his father Isaac engage in a biblical game of "can-you-guess-who-I-am?" as the blessing for the first born goes to the younger brother.

And then there is Rebekah. Let's review her role in the unfolding drama of the Hebrew family. Isaac grows old and hungers for a tasty dish of game from the hand of Esau, the hunter. Overhearing this request, Rebekah quickly cooks up a scrumptious meal and instructs Jacob to deliver the goods in order to receive the blessing intended for Esau. When Esau learns that his brother has usurped his position, he threatens to kill him. Rebekah, never one to remain passive, dispatches Jacob to stay with her brother Laban in order to protect her son's life.

Rebekah is the most remarkable manager in biblical literature. From the moment Abraham's servant Eliezer meets her at the well seeking a wife for Isaac to this episode where she schemes and tricks her family to ensure that Jacob, rather than Esau, becomes patriarch, she manipulates the characters like an all-knowing director on the stage of life. This is some family-weak characters and strong ones, tricky folks, shadowy plots, and plenty of dysfunction!

But before we pass them off as ideal candidates for long-term family therapy, (which they certainly need), let's try to understand some of the lessons the biblical story conveys.

In his work, Certain People of the Book, Maurice Samuel describes Rebekah as the manager who was "chosen to guard Isaac in the fulfillment of his destiny."1 It was thanks to Rebekah, Samuel argues, that the future of the Jewish people rested in the hands of Jacob who by temperament was best prepared for the role. She saw the uniqueness of each of her sons. What had to get done, got done, albeit in a messy way. But we are human and we function in an imperfect world.

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