Mishpatim

Mishpatim, Exodus 21:1-24:18, Shabbat Sh’kalim

Coming Down from the Mountain While Still Being There

In January I went on a spirituality retreat. It was an alumni retreat of the Institute for Jewish Spirituality for a group of clergy from around the country who had been part of a two-year program designed to help us deepen our own spiritual commitments. Over the two years, there were four-week-long retreats interspersed with weekly chevrutah study of Chasidic texts. (Chevrutah study, from the root chet-bet-reish, is the intense one-on-one study of a text that one does with a partner.) My chaver (“friend,” or in this case, “partner”) was a rabbi in Boston. For two years we’d meet weekly on the phone and study a text for about an hour, sharing the insights of the texts as a window into our own lives.

The retreats themselves were intense. There was powerful davening, provocative study, yoga, meditation, and a lot of silence. We ate most of the meals in silence—an eye-opening experience. When you’re not talking, you focus more on the food: how it looks on the plate; what it smells like; how it tastes. Whatever food issues you have come up, like: Will there be seconds? Will I get enough? If I’m already full why am I getting up to get more? You notice, and you pay attention.

So going back to the alumni retreat was a gift. It was a blessing and a spiritual high. It took me three days to clear the clutter out of my mind so I could really meditate. I had time to write in my journal. The experience of prayer became intense; things that were confusing became clear. I even had a few epiphanies. And then I came home.

I listened to my voice mail from the office on the way home. Then I stopped at the market to buy food for supper. As soon as I got home, I checked my e-mail. I was stunned at how quickly the high faded away and life got back to normal, with only an occasional echo of clarity.

That’s what this week’s Torah portion is about. Last week we were at Mount Sinai—a spiritual trip so powerful that every one of us had an out-of-body experience where we saw the thunder and heard the lightning. Last week we each had an experience of God, hearing God speak to us. Tradition differs as to what exactly was transmitted, but whatever we heard, it was powerful enough to change our lives and the life of our community, forever.

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