Vayigash, Genesis 44:18–47:27
"Is My Father [Really] Alive?": More than a Rhetorical Question
Bruce Kadden
Are there any more moving words in the entire Torah than the question Joseph asks immediately upon revealing his identity to his brothers: "Is my father [really] alive?" (Genesis 45:3). After many years of denying his identity, hiding his identity, and trying to forget his past, he cannot contain himself any longer. He clears the room of everyone except his brothers. "He gave voice to a loud wail, and the Egyptians heard—Pharaoh's palace heard!" (45:2).
At first glance, it might seem that Joseph asks a rhetorical question. Hadn't his brothers spoken of his father all along? But upon further reflection it is more than a rhetorical question. First of all, it is possible that Jacob had died since the brothers first encountered Joseph in Egypt, in spite of their references to him. After all, Joseph might have reasoned, I have fooled them by hiding my identity; they think that I am dead. Perhaps they have figured out who I am and they are hiding from me the fact that our father has died.
In fact, the reason Joseph has waited so long to reveal his identity to his brothers might be because he is not sure how his relationship with his brothers will be affected by his father's presence. Ramban expresses surprise that Joseph never attempts to contact his father and his family. But the text clearly indicates that Joseph wants to forget his past. Recall that he named his firstborn Manasseh "For God has made me forget all the troubles I endured in my father's house" (41:51).
Although Joseph never explicitly condemns his father, it is hard to imagine that he does not have resentment toward him for allowing his brothers to treat him as they did. After all, it was his father who sent him to see how his brothers were doing as they pastured the flocks at Shechem (37:13–14). And this is despite the fact that Jacob knew Joseph was inclined to bring him bad reports about his brothers (37:2).
The more Joseph had the opportunity to reflect on the chain of events that led him to be sold and taken down to Egypt, the more he must have grown to resent the role that his father played in the story. The one person who should have protected him from his brothers’ resentment ended up sending him to them, far away from home, where they were able to take out their frustrations on him.
This resentment explains why Joseph did not attempt to contact his father when he had the opportunity to do so after rising to power in Egypt. When his brothers suddenly appear on the scene, he is faced with the need to come to terms with his past. He puts this off by developing an elaborate test to determine if his brothers will abandon Benjamin, as they abandoned him, or if they have changed.
But while the focus of the text is on the brothers and how they deal with the test that Joseph has designed, behind the scenes Joseph is trying to work out his estrangement with their father. In his first encounter with his brothers in Egypt (42:6–26), their father is barely mentioned. The brothers identify themselves as "sons of the same man" (42:11) and "sons of a man in the land of Canaan" (42:13) before explaining that the youngest brother "is with our father right now" (42:13). This is the only direct reference to their father in the entire conversation.
However, when his brothers return to Egypt, Joseph questions them, "How is your aged father of whom you spoke? Is he still alive?" Joseph appears ready to begin dealing with the reality of his father being alive. Yet, Joseph immediately turns his attention to his full-brother Benjamin, perhaps indicating that he is not completely ready to come to terms with his father.
Contrast this to the beginning of this week's portion, where Judah passionately pleads with Joseph to allow him (Judah) to remain in Joseph's custody in place of Benjamin. In the last seventeen verses of chapter 44, Judah uses the word “father” no fewer than thirteen times! It is reasonable to conclude that hearing these constant references to his father finally convinced an emotionally overwhelmed Joseph that it was time to reveal his identity to his brothers.
Are there any more moving words in the entire Torah than the question Joseph asks immediately upon revealing his identity to his brothers: "Is my father [really] alive?" (Genesis 45:3). After many years of denying his identity, hiding his identity, and trying to forget his past, he cannot contain himself any longer. He clears the room of everyone except his brothers. "He gave voice to a loud wail, and the Egyptians heard—Pharaoh's palace heard!" (45:2).
At first glance, it might seem that Joseph asks a rhetorical question. Hadn't his brothers spoken of his father all along? But upon further reflection it is more than a rhetorical question. First of all, it is possible that Jacob had died since the brothers first encountered Joseph in Egypt, in spite of their references to him. After all, Joseph might have reasoned, I have fooled them by hiding my identity; they think that I am dead. Perhaps they have figured out who I am and they are hiding from me the fact that our father has died.
In fact, the reason Joseph has waited so long to reveal his identity to his brothers might be because he is not sure how his relationship with his brothers will be affected by his father's presence. Ramban expresses surprise that Joseph never attempts to contact his father and his family. But the text clearly indicates that Joseph wants to forget his past. Recall that he named his firstborn Manasseh "For God has made me forget all the troubles I endured in my father's house" (41:51).
Although Joseph never explicitly condemns his father, it is hard to imagine that he does not have resentment toward him for allowing his brothers to treat him as they did. After all, it was his father who sent him to see how his brothers were doing as they pastured the flocks at Shechem (37:13–14). And this is despite the fact that Jacob knew Joseph was inclined to bring him bad reports about his brothers (37:2).
The more Joseph had the opportunity to reflect on the chain of events that led him to be sold and taken down to Egypt, the more he must have grown to resent the role that his father played in the story. The one person who should have protected him from his brothers’ resentment ended up sending him to them, far away from home, where they were able to take out their frustrations on him.
This resentment explains why Joseph did not attempt to contact his father when he had the opportunity to do so after rising to power in Egypt. When his brothers suddenly appear on the scene, he is faced with the need to come to terms with his past. He puts this off by developing an elaborate test to determine if his brothers will abandon Benjamin, as they abandoned him, or if they have changed.
But while the focus of the text is on the brothers and how they deal with the test that Joseph has designed, behind the scenes Joseph is trying to work out his estrangement with their father. In his first encounter with his brothers in Egypt (42:6–26), their father is barely mentioned. The brothers identify themselves as "sons of the same man" (42:11) and "sons of a man in the land of Canaan" (42:13) before explaining that the youngest brother "is with our father right now" (42:13). This is the only direct reference to their father in the entire conversation.
However, when his brothers return to Egypt, Joseph questions them, "How is your aged father of whom you spoke? Is he still alive?" Joseph appears ready to begin dealing with the reality of his father being alive. Yet, Joseph immediately turns his attention to his full-brother Benjamin, perhaps indicating that he is not completely ready to come to terms with his father.
Contrast this to the beginning of this week's portion, where Judah passionately pleads with Joseph to allow him (Judah) to remain in Joseph's custody in place of Benjamin. In the last seventeen verses of chapter 44, Judah uses the word “father” no fewer than thirteen times! It is reasonable to conclude that hearing these constant references to his father finally convinced an emotionally overwhelmed Joseph that it was time to reveal his identity to his brothers.
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